There’s something that comes with the territory of being a homosexual guy that can be used to our advantage. The fact that we’re homosexual, women automatically appear to find us sweet, funny, and adorable as a Telly Tubby. The artwork of flirting with either sex is complicated. Both require their own unique understanding of what they need to offer.

In the gay community, flirting is all over the place. We flirt with our close friends, our baristas, and even random telemarketers on the telephone. But how do we use it to our advantage?

The most frequent occurrence I see on a daily basis is the “check out.” That is of course when two guys are passing one another on the street and give a couple more mere seconds of eyes contact before they switch the corner – we realize there is nothing ever going to happen, and the likely hood folks seeing each other again is slim. Why is flirting so common?

If you take a look at how women do it, it’s pretty incredible. Women know they have assets. From an early on age, they picked up on it. When puberty began, boys begin looking at them in different ways and they realize, “Hmm… I can use this.” Soon they’re getting away from traffic seat tickets, failed classes, and paying bus fares.

Gay men have this same trait, but we use it in yet another way. Our approach differs with women than it is for men.

With women, it’s more friendly-like. If dogs are a man’s best friend, then homosexual men are DEFINITELY women’s closest friend, right? We know it, they know it – it’s sealed. Because we are more likely to be more comfortable with them, we allow are gayness to truly show. I understand that if I’m in a party full of women, I am able to hold my own. Girls love their gays, and most of them use us as a chance to become familiar with the male types. Some let you know a bit about their boyfriends, demonstrate pictures, both agree that he is hot and that she “totally” deserves him. This is a great asset to have as a gay guy.

Straight men are a little more complicated. In an area full of dudes, there will be at least one man uncomfortable with gays. With this thought, the gayness tends to come down a little. Some gay men can feel just a little uncomfortable at times, because it’s doubtful territory. However, it’s about the discussion in cases like this. The funny thing is that men often use the gays as an opportunity to get to know the FEMALE types. They would like to know very well what their girl is thinking, and that is the key to getting through. As long as you see through the first step – which is making sure they know that you aren’t flirting sexually with them – it is golden from there on out.

Flirting is all about charm, personality, and connection. Ensuring someone feels like you are listening to them and being noticed. This always makes them comfortable and more able to open up about things. Everyone has their own technique, and in bad instances they can abuse it till it becomes clear. No person in this world likes to feel performed, and throwing the flirt one too many times can be dangerous. Be cautious in your flirting travels, you never know….

I might be the main one you’re flirting with.

Portraits of seductive gay men