My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want to Get Married
What to Do If Your Partner Doesn’t Want to Get Married
If you’re itching to get married and your partner resists, it’s easy to assume there’s a problem with the relationship or that your partner isn’t fully committed to you. These issues could reveal that it’s time for you to consider moving on. But there are myriad other reasons people are uncomfortable with marriage which have nothing in connection with the relationship. Cohabitation is an ever more popular option.
Some reasons your lover might be bored with marriage include:
- Pain with the events that surround a marriage, the costs associated with engaged and getting married, or family conflicts that can arise whenever a few exchanges vows.
- Concern with divorce.
- Concern with losing one’s individual identity.
- Wanting to “test” the partnership just a little longer before taking the plunge.
- Disliking the historical implications of marriage, which include viewing women as property and men only a small amount more than providers.
- A desire to avoid an institution in which some same-sex lovers can’t participate
It’s always a frustrating situation whenever a couple isn’t on the same web page about something, particularly when that something is as important as future life-planning and marriage. I’m sorry to listen to you men aren’t in the same place yet on this particular issue, but this certainly doesn’t mean this is a sign to “throw in the towel.”
While it can be difficult not to, it’s important to avoid personalizing your partner’s lack of desire to take a deeper part of commitment in your relationship at this particular juncture. Timing is everything and it’s not unusual for companions to have different readiness levels when it comes to numerous developmental issues in a romantic relationship. Patience can be your best virtue because the very last thing you want to do is to get embroiled in a power struggle over something similar to this. If your partner isn’t emotionally ready at this time to take that next thing, it would be sabotage to even try to push or pressure him as it will only business lead to turmoil and withdrawal.
Acceptance of where things are right now and appreciating what you have are keys to keeping your endurance until your partner is preparing to say “I really do.” This doesn’t mean doing nothing in the interim, however. It’s important to nurture and attend to your relationship in all the ways you have thus far to maintain its success and energy to bridge it to deeper degrees of intimacy and connection.
Much like everything, communication can help significantly in managing your dilemma. It’ll be helpful so that you can find out about your boyfriend’s hopes and dreams and validate those for him. Sit down with each other one day and discuss the idea of commitment and the near future and what it means to each of you. How will you feel about commitment? What does dedication mean to you? Look like? Feel like? The facts about marriage and deepening your dedication that’s becoming for you? What are your fears and reservations about commitment and relationship? Just having this kind of discussion can lead to the answering of many questions and present each of you an idea of where you’re both viand if there are any emotional blocks possibly getting back in the way of continue that you could interact as a team toward eradicating. Another good question might be, “How will you know when you’re ready to take that “next thing?” “What personal or relational conditions need to be fulfilled before you’re more comfortable with the idea?” Again, in your own vocabulary is best and in a casual low-key conversation style so he doesn’t feel ganged up on or supported in a part. The conversation should be reciprocal, give-and-take, and well balanced.
Another thing the two of you can do in the interim until that glorious day is to start crafting a “relationship vision”. You can discuss what your ideal romantic relationship would look like and how it would function. What would it look like, feel just like, and become like? What are your targets and aspirations for yourselves as individuals and as a few for your relationship? You are able to journal about this or produce a collage collectively where you slice out pictures, images, words, and icons from publications that depict this “vision” and paste them to a posterboard that you post in a place you each would see on a regular basis. This becomes a motivator and incentive toward making sure you’re working toward those goals and it also can serve as a visible reminder for your boyfriend and that means you don’t have to keep bringing up the problem all the time…he’ll be reminded of it each time he strolls into the kitchen! You can also create a scrapbook you will ever have as a few to begin gathering momentos of your shared history in-the-making!
So hang in there, my friend! All good stuff come to the people who wait, they state! By giving the man you’re dating the gift of your time and patience, you will reap the advantages of a partner who can completely devote himself to the procedure and it will be a lot more joyous time of special event for those. Everyone has to proceed through their own “growing aches” at their own speed, so unless there are emotional blocks, a “dedication phobia”, or relationship problems root the stalling of your romantic relationship development, allow your lover the space to work through things on his own and offer your support in whatever ways he may need while you route your energies into maintaining your romantic relationship energized and maintaining your unbiased life purposeful and fun until that marvelous day happens.