A Straight Man’s Biggest Fear – What if I’m gay?
Since so many straight men are simply out of touch with who they really are, and are fundamentally insecure, being called “gay” can be very threatening. For these men, gay = bad, wrong, weak, womanly, sensitive, and less than.
Think about it. In conventional male culture (particularly for teens and young men), the biggest put down you can give another man is to call him a fag. Men joke in this way all the time. But underneath the joke is a hidden truth. That to the men giving the put down, they are deeply afraid that they will be seen as homosexual or gay and they know the other man might have questions too.
Anti-gay behavior is so ingrained in our culture and starts from day one. If a little baby boy so much as gets a toy that looks like a “girl toy” he might be teased by a nearby watchful adult as gay or girly. So begins the cycle of the boycode.
BoyCode: Boys must only act like boys and if they cry, whine, don’t play sports, or wear girl-colored clothing, they are not being a boy. Sadly, this behavior is conditioned largely by fearful, insecure, adult men who do not want to be seen having a boy who is “not acting like a boy.”
Homosexual OCD is becoming a lot more common in today’s world, especially since LGBT people are getting more media attention than they’ve ever gotten in the last couple of years. Countless of straight guys are seeking therapy, enthusiastic about the idea they could be gay – even though the high majority aren’t.
There’s a notable difference between a guy who is gay and a guy who thinks he is. Despite the fact that these kinds of stories seem like instances of denial, Psychiatrists in the united states will tell you that there is a vast difference.
“I’ve treated [Homosexual OCD] often,” Dr. Jeff Szymanski said to ABC News, “They have problems with pathological doubt. Even though they know they are 100% straight, not gay, they second think it. For instance, they could think, ‘Wait a minute I spend too much time looking at that guy in the locker room. What does that mean?’ They get lost in the necessity to know – the necessity to be certain.”
Homosexual OCD is far too common, but what’s the cause? Could it be the growing caricature gay people are molding into from the mass media? Could it be the damaging stereotype gay guys have in the straight world? Can it be the crazy “How exactly to tell if you’re gay” tests that sweep cultural press like firestorms? Whatever the case may be, this type of disorder is on the rise.
According to the American Mindset Association, 2.2 million People in america have problems with OCD, this means 2.2 million people are experiencing repeating and unwanted thoughts and ideas that produce them feel guilty or drive them to take action repetitively. In cases like this, men are constantly obsessing about their intimate orientation even though they know they’re 100% straight.
The difference between a guy with Homosexual OCD and a guy who’s authentically gay is very transparent. While the man with OCD can’t stop thinking about it, constantly looking to reaffirm his “straightness” by requesting others, researching the internet, anxiously looking at history situations, and testing himself by viewing porn that he doesn’t log off to, it’s apparent that real homosexual guys experience a whole other journey.
“It sounds the same as a phobia or fear of snakes,” Ross Murray, spokesman for GLAAD said, “I can’t think of anyone who has that sort of obsessional concentrate on their own sexual orientation. Someone who is homosexual, however in the wardrobe, is not spending time researching and examining themselves. They know deep down that it’s a part of them. Homosexual people aren’t looking for any type of external validation.”
I myself have seen straight guys get so freaked out when they consciously take action “stereotypically gay” that they begin to beat themselves a component with obsessive thoughts. I did so this, does that mean I’m gay? Most of them might even get hook body sensation when around a good man, but according to experts it still doesn’t mean he’s gay.
“Certainly [a body sensation] will not make them homosexual,” psychologist Steven Brodsky said, “It requires almost nothing to arouse a man…. Homophobia, even sex, has nothing to do with [OCD]. Maybe these were abused as a youngster or heard ‘gay’ as a taunt. A couple of other issues in their lives avoiding them from having adoring, committed romantic relationships.”
Homosexual OCD is starting to be a problem. Even the Macklemore has been open about his problems, questioning his sexuality after finding his uncle was homosexual. Could countless of other directly Americans be dealing with similar issues? Research seems to think so.