Things Gay Men Should Stop Doing After The Dates Are Over
Gay men are one of the most dynamic and interesting subgenus in the human populous, issues surrounding gay sex and gay culture have been a source of distress, wild disagreements, blatant ignorance – and general outrage over the years. For such a dynamic group of men, there are still some medieval customs and non-progressive habits we hold on to that don’t stand to further a more mainstream attitude towards gay men and acceptance as a societal normalcy.
You meet a guy you think is the bee’s knees. You’ve eliminated on two, three, or four dates and each one of them has gone okay. But for some reason, you’ll still don’t know if the feelings are mutual. You prefer him, that’s clear incidentally you’re holding your smartphone like it was a lottery ticket. Still, it’s hard to learn the signs that are blatantly before you.
Does he like you or not? That’s the question. Though there are many things telling you yes, your insecurity is rearing its unappealing mind and keeping you in circumstances of denial. Once the date is over and you’ve gone your individual ways, everything hits you simultaneously. The fantasies, the judgments, and the ideas all draw you down towards an epic barrel of questions. It’s time to completely clean your ft and make contact with reality. Here are some habits you ought to let go of:
Stop Assuming The Worst
When you assume the worst, it’s clear you’re the insecure one. As you reveal back, you think all you do was incorrect. That joke you’d said was too harsh, you forgot to chuckle when he was trying to be funny, as soon as you were wanting to be sarcastic and failed miserably. But here’s the thing you forget to comprehend. What’s in your head is rarely, if, outwardly accurate. Everyone is nervous on their first few schedules. The greater you concentrate on the bad, the less you’ll relish the nice. At the start, it’s all about learning each other – not judging. Believe me, to make a poor impression on him the first few times, it needed been really bad. So if you don’t threw your beverage at the waiter, threw up on yourself and remaining him to pay the costs, you’re FINE!
Stop needing a man
This is a cliché because it’s so true. Learn to be single. Dating takes patience. You should not automatically date the first person you lay your eyes on. Nobody wants to die alone, but you can’t throw yourself at every single guy you meet just because you hate spending time by yourself. Learn to love yourself. Yes, it’s corny as all hell, but seriously, get to know yourself better. If you find yourself dating a guy for two months, breaking up, only to date a different guy a week later (for yet another whopping eight weeks), you need to sit your ass down and watch some Netflix alone.
Stop “Checking In” & Start Seeing Each Other
Once the time has ended, it’s easy to consistently check in. “How was your entire day” or “How was that meeting?” or “I hope ending up in the family was fun.” That’s nice and all, nevertheless, you can’t rely on this. If you keep looking at, eventually this would be the infrastructure of your entire communication with one another. If there’s no planning another get-together, you will see no get-together. It’s fun to have flirty interactions, but never let it become a justification to stall the next meeting.
Stop Talking As If He’s Your Boyfriend
He’s not the man you’re dating yet, so brain your language. Not merely do you risk scaring him away, nevertheless, you risk becoming more attached yourself. Don’t be afraid of small talk. It certainly makes you both convenient, allowing you never to try so difficult and in a way, it shows your true colors. When the partnership is new, most guys are terrified of small chat, fearing it will become “ridiculous” talk. But it’s a very important factor to discuss your desire for old movies, your careers, or even big interviews you have approaching, and it’s one more thing to discuss the near future, plan your excursions to Connecticut, call him “babe,” and rub his neck all on the next date. Keep a distance and smell him out first.
Stop Finding Hidden Meanings
When you have to stop and find out what “this means” or what “that means,” you’re likely to drive yourself in the wall and distract yourself from seeing what’s really before you. But don’t knock yourself in the head for doing so. When you really like someone, it’s normal to think too much into things – especially when you truly like him. No matter how much you see it, don’t allow it become a game: “Oh, he’s just playing hard to get. I’ll wait around ten minutes before I text him back, that’ll show him.” No, no, no. Keep it real. If you make it into a game, do you know what, you’re both going to get performed.
Put the damn mobile phone down and stop daydreaming about how “great” the schedules were. The longer you do that, the more stressed you’ll be. Internet dating is meant to be fun, not stressed. Sooner or later, you’ll make everything mean something. Remember the time you researched too hard for this project, only to end up with a B minus? It’s the same idea. Nothing at all good comes from overanalyzing. The only person you’re tormenting is yourself.
Listen to your friends
Your friends know you well. They know you when you’re on your bullshit and when you’re off it. They can tell when you’re lying to yourself. They have your best interest in heart. (Unlike the guys you are dating.) So listen to them when they tell you why they aren’t thrilled about your new boyfriend. If you have a history of dating human piles of burning rubber, then you should be listening to your friends even more.