For a long time, friendships between gay men and straight men – what some now call “bromosexual” friendships – were uncommon. Homophobia was likely one reason; another was that straight men probably assumed they didn’t have much in common with gay men.
But lately, “bromosexual” friendships have started to receive more attention, acceptance and interest. They’re being explored and depicted in movies, books and blogs. In October, The New York Times even devoted an article in their Style section to “The Rise of the ‘Bromosexual’ Friendship.”
I will use the term homobromance. It’s a typical bromance, except one of them is gay. This is every right man’s non-fantasy. Not that they wouldn’t be friends with homosexual guys. Actually in a recently available poll 68% of right guys have said that they wouldn’t are having issues being friends with other gay guys. Regarding to OKCupid (and we all know what that is right?), 11% of straight guys said they haven’t experienced sex with a guy before but want too. Interesting…
The facts about straight men that gay men like a lot? I believe it’s the masculinity of them. They’re a man’s man. No amount of homosexual parties will get you away from being drawn to classic testosterone. Most likely, it originates from our youth as well. The people we visited senior high school, even the bullies, stay in our minds today and when we see straight men being okay with gay guys, maybe it’s a mental triumph of earning over the straight men from our past.
It wasn’t until recently that most straight men were okay with gay culture. Even just two decades ago, there is a major disconnect between your two. Homophobia was starting to dwindle away and the individuals who were still trying to hold on to it tried as hard as they could, till it became “uncool” to be homophobic. (Thank you Madonna!)
Still I wonder, how do directly men think nowadays? More and more homobromances are spawning in every major city across the country. In a way, it could be an ill ego boost for them to have another good looking man dig them sexually. They start to ask questions like “What do you think of my hair?” or “Do I want to start doing more sit ups?” These send complete mixed messages to us, then we begin to wonder if indeed they might have a thing for us.
But generally, the homosexual guy starts to fall for the straight man first. Why do we this to ourselves? We realize that it will never happen, yet we still have wish. This hope is always going to be the building blocks of our heart ache. Even if they’re not completely right, they still say they are, which means they are hiding. It might also be that he is in the wardrobe plus they feel closer to the homosexual community when they are around gay men. In cases like this it might be a good idea to be the main one to help him. But don’t get any ideas.
Men are men. The majority of us need a pack to rest in. We are like wolves gnawing at the backside of society (some literally).
The homobromance is a funny thing. Both of us take what we need out of it and are remaining fulfilled. Somehow direct guys can feel much more accepted within society when they have a gay man near. We are, after all, a very cool accessory to have.
5 Comments
Of course it is possible. The main thing is what kind of person he is, and not who he is (gay or not gay). These are all prejudices.
Homophobia is not so strong now, as it’s been before, so why not? I have many straight friends – men and women. The only problem- don’t fall in love with your straight best friend, that’s the point:)
I believe that if people are adequate though of different orientations, they can communicate and make friends. Why not? I think that you need to be able to accept people as they are.
I have quite a few straight male friends. It’s as simple as it would be for a straight guy to have female friends.
I’m not confused at all that at me is to steam of friends gays, though I am a hetero. There is nothing unusual in it, ordinary people, good friends, the same as all people, only more cheerful and pleasant!