Ah, how to be authentic. Authenticity is one of those qualities that has become so desirable, so sought after, that it has been reduced — just like generosity and gratitude — to a meaningless cliché. And yet everything we teach at The Art of Charm, from storytelling to approaching to confronting limiting beliefs, seems to come back to the core concept of being who you are, which might just be the most difficult skill you can master. Authenticity is as elusive as it is powerful, but so many people are still baffled by the notion of how to be authentic.
In a place that is so filled up with fake people, it is not surprising that most aspects of the world eventually follow. It’s easy to see things in TV, at the movies, or in the magazines and get mislead into thinking that this is how you need to be as well. It’s not. In fact, the world gives much more respect to originality – that is, after all how most celebrities get famous to begin with.
There is no one else in the world like you. Be the one that gets imitated – NOT the main one doing the imitating.
Our adolescence is the most crucial time in our lives. We discover what we like and don’t like, characteristics in people that we can handle and not handle, issues that we agree with and not trust. As young adults, it becomes a lot more easier to get swayed in many directions, especially when we are befriending other curious thinkers who are contemplating their stance in the world. Eventually, we need to make a decision. Otherwise we will be flip flopping all our lives and never move forward inside our individual paths.
Here’s the trick that we all must learn. We should first understand how to separate our intuition from our intellect. In other words, our intuition is the first feeling that people get. Oprah calls it the “gut feeling” moment. This is usually the right way to go, but before we even have time for you to relish in it, we shoot it directly into our brains, or intellect. Soon we are rationalizing it, picking it a part little by little and eventually over-thinking all the details. We get completely confused at which way to go, and then it becomes a problem. Over time we often forget where we stood with the issue and it soon develops into an emotional battle.
Not that there is anything wrong with rationalizing. Actually, rationalizing is one of the greatest things we can have as adults. The habit, however, is not to depend on it. Not everything needs as much rationalizing as you think. Sometimes, our intuition is the only tool we have towards being happy. When we go against our core feelings, certainly the contentment with this decisions starts to combat each other.
This is a huge dilemma in the gay community. Most homosexual men know that they’re gay at an early age, and finally our intuitive knowledge is fulfilled with the world’s intellectual reasoning of what’s moral and immoral. As we begin to grow, it infects our understanding of who we are. The fight scars remain there when we are adults in most cases. Take this journey of self discovery towards other stages in your life – develop from it.
The more you pay attention to your intuition, the further you will be in living your authenticity. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t ignore it. At least acknowledge the fact that you felt something. Learn to say no! Saying yes all the time will only get you in the habit of ignoring your views on things. Know what you stand for and become true to that. Don’t change your tastes, because you feel these things for a reason.
There’s nothing wrong with trying new things, but pretending to trust in something or faking your liking to something, just to please others, will impact your happiness.
Your authenticity is the only thing you have in this world that separates you from the cattle. How many times have you seen someone walk through the doors and instantly, you are captivated by their confidence? Seeing someone who is totally themselves naturally invites the world to see it. Most people ache to have that quality and to view it in another, is inspiring to them.
The only way you will find yourself is if you start listening to yourself. Don’t disregard your truth, flourish it and make it ripen. Your life will be more plentiful because of it.