Some things to think about when setting boundaries in your relationship
Whether you’re casually hooking up or have been going out for a while now, setting boundaries is an important part of any relationship. To have the healthiest relationship, both partners should know each other’s wants, goals, fears and limits. You should feel comfortable honestly communicating your needs to your partner without being afraid of what they might do in response. If your partner tells you that your needs are stupid, gets angry with you or goes against what you’re comfortable with, then your partner is not showing you the respect you deserve.
It might surprise you to learn that I haven’t been this sexually open up. There was previously a time after i was a timid man, timid and scared to explore my sexual limits. Say thanks to God I broke from it, but it wasn’t easy.
Here are some facts, honey. The key reason why anyone has intimate limits is because they’ve yet to be comfortable with their physiques and/or are unwilling to feel susceptible in the bedroom. Not that there’s anything wrong with this, but life is too damn brief to be trapped in a bubble. Having sex with the person you love shouldn’t continually be the same taste unless it’s by choice. Whenever your intimate boundaries are which makes it hard to explore the possibilities of what’s there, it’s time to begin pushing the envelope merely to say you can. Just because I happen to go on the advantage doesn’t mean other people will, but shouldn’t you at least try?
Pressing your sexual limits is more than simply about finding fetishes or positions, it’s about vanquishing deep insecurities and freeing yourself from society’s emotional chains. To sum it up, it’s healing. For all you Bashful Betties out there, below are a few methods for you to start, slowly but surely:
Submission & Surrender
Among the enemies of sexual exploration is the need to stay static in control. You don’t want to look awful, you don’t want to totally surrender, and you are fearful release a your inhibitions. Doing this usually takes away your cool – and we all know how important that is for you. Ignore it for a couple of hours! The constant need to be in control will still only keep you from performing from impulse. Here are three vanilla ideas:
Whip out the handcuffs and let him take control of your body.
Tell him, “I want you to make me come.” This let’s him know you’re releasing control over to him, which gives him a job to do.
Practice positions that put you in a submissive state. Doggy Style is an excellent one, Against-The-Wall is another also. Having your back planted on the wall will keep you “pinned” which might subconsciously trick your brain into thinking you have less control.
Take It FROM THE Bedroom
When you limit sex to one place, you’re limiting it to whatever resources the atmosphere products. A bedroom contains a bed, bedpost, bedding, cushions… that’s about it. Hmph. But how about the kitchen? The living room? Your workplace? The backyard? The veranda? The toilet? Open up the possibilities.
Change the positioning so you change the resources. All of a sudden you’re not limited by a bed, you have opportunities to explore the sofa, the table top, your favorite seat, the staircase (which is always fun), or even outside. The greater you adhere to one place, the more you get used to building sexual boundaries around it. Never should it reach that point!
Stop Hurrying It
Sex is more than just about the climax – hi there! Just because you start kissing doesn’t suggest you will need to immediately reach to the light fixture stand and get a condom. Give yourself the present of time. It will make longterm sex with the one you love even more special, plus opens it up for more experimentation and intimacy.
Stretch out the session out. It doesn’t indicate you have to find out for hours on end (though I personally wouldn’t brain it), but allow yourself to enjoy the moments of foreplay rather than speeding it through. The goal of sex isn’t to ejaculate on your preferred place. Sure, it’s the closing result, but breakthrough is all about the trip towards the finish line. Climax is only 8 – 10 mere seconds long. Seems silly to put so much work into that little bit of release, right? You may as well enjoy the ride.
Direct ONE ANOTHER
Before you sigh and assume that this idea is always going to be awkward, i want to tell, if done right directing each other can not only bring you nearer together, but it will unleash fantasies you never knew you’d before. Here’s how it operates:
One of you sit down in a chair and become the “director.” The “professional” gets up and is supposed to do no matter the director tells him. In my experience, it’s better to not have physical contact: a look, but don’t touch kind of idea. It allows the “director” an opportunity to finally express fetishes he could never had a chance to, while also providing the “actor” an opportunity to discover what’s in his boyfriend’s filthy mind. You learn from each other, and that opens up more discoveries.
Porn: Watch & Learn
I’m sure a lot of you men know very well what I’m discussing. Flipping on the porn at any point during your sex session has a lot of potential to increase visual pleasure which, as a result, will enhance the imagination.
More Tips of Sexual Boundaries from Psychologists and Therapists
How to Explore Your Sexual Boundaries With Your Partner. Bring some life into the bedroom by exploring new possibilities. More here…