You are in a loving, mutually-fulfilling relationship at last! You’ve learned a lot from your past relationship mistakes and want to do everything you can to make sure this relationship stays happy for you both. What are some of the ways that you can keep your gay relationship enriching, satisfying and successful?
It takes courage to truly trust others. Hurtful events and selfish personalities can force us to question people’s motives consistently throughout our lives, but has it reached degrees of no-return in the homosexual community?
You can find countless of gay guys who’ll never start to see the important jobs that honesty and integrity play in our happiness until it’s too late. A tiny voice included questions their partner or friend’s intentions, warning them not to trust this specific person – over time it builds into a ROAR, accusing everyone and anyone in his life without valid basis.
Let’s look a bit deeper. What is situated beneath mistrust? Dread. It self-serves our very own thoughts, giving the facade of “protectiveness.” At the time it seems logical. Fear continues us from duplicating the same mistakes again and again by blood loss fragmented images of days gone by into our mind’s eyes, forcing us to be scared to enter such territory again. Fear retains us set up – it’s much more safe. But if you’re not careful, it has the potential to lead us down a street of loneliness.
When we’re fueled by dread, we think everyone is out to get us. We think nobody likes us, nobody truly cares, nobody will probably be worth our time, many people are the same, we’ll only get harm again if we put trust into others. Everything in the world becomes worthy of questioning. We live our lives through suspicious goggles, blinding us from viewing potential cable connections when it’s there because we’re too active living inside our own heads.
It’s easy for gay guys to become mistrusting of each other in today’s world. The dog-eat-dog culture has made us fearful of wisdom and critical of everyone’s actions, making ourselves completely accountable of who are able to enter our group of trust, only to realize the only one within it is us.
Dealing with trust issues is never a simple move to make. Quite often it feels like we’re forcing ourselves to your investment past and allowing vulnerability to take over again. Nothing can be further from the reality.
Repeating unhealthy patterns has nothing to do with vulnerability, but denial. A couple of lessons in everything we do as humans and we’re never heading to learn them so long as we store the pain of our past. Continue means not allowing mistakes guideline our current state of decision-making. We live, we learn, and progress with the boundaries we’ve built ourselves.
Trusting without restricts is like soaring with out a net. It could feel great, but after a while you’ll see the effects of your own carelessness. There’ll be no foundation to herb your feet, giving the world free reign to steer you any which way they want. Learning to trust again can be hard, but it never should it be rooted with dread. The experiences we’ve been through should create warning flag that boundary around our logical reasonings. Achieving this will detain dread from entering the circle of trust, but will still ensure it is visible for evaluation.
Never be afraid to trust again. It’s the basis of most successful human relationships. Without it, we won’t have the ability to ripen to our full potential. Study from the past, but don’t let it define your current.