Everyone has struggled with some kind of insecurity at some point in their lives but it seems that for the gay community, the issues go deeper and are often related not just the stigma and discrimination but with finding one’s true voice and identity and understanding how sexual orientation impacts their mental and emotional health.
With a better understanding of the existential crises, stereotypes, unrealistic expectations, social limitations and family problems, we may find the opportunity to deal with various insecurities more successfully and the following tips should at least provide a starting point.
Embrace your identity
From denial and anger to final acceptance of your sexual orientation and identity, the road is rocky and hard but it’s far from impossible. Many have taken that road before and what studies show is that the response gay people get once they’ve come out is a major predictor of potential emotional and mental issues in the future.
In the face of rejection, most people will be at higher risk of developing anxiety and depression and these are the problems that lead to insecurities when meeting others. This is why many gay people isolate themselves to avoid rejection, judgment and bullying. Very often, when they do venture the dating scene, they have to deal with the pressure of competition with other gay people so it’s easy to retreat and give up.
For anyone dealing with these issues, the key is in embracing your identity and knowing that it is OK if you’re struggling and it’s OK to seek support and help from family, friends and professionals.
Stop looking for perfection
One of the biggest mistakes you can make in any relationship is looking for a perfect partner. Firstly, the process of searching will drive you mad and in the end, you will be disappointed as there is no perfect partner and no one will ever live up to your unrealistic standards.
Once you accept that there’s no perfection only different shades of imperfection, you’ll be able to accept your own flaws and deal with your insecurities. Then, you’ll seek out a relationship with an imperfect other that complements you in the way that makes you happy.
Realizing your imperfections and accepting them fully will take time but once you resolve those issues, you’ll find a harmonious relationship where the two of you balance each other perfectly.
Get help from the experts
A lot of partners in a relationship struggle with the idea of not being good enough which leads to the fear of a partner’s leaving so they keep comparing themselves to others. This causes very low self-esteem and creates a fertile ground for criticism from peers, parents, coaches or teachers.
When this happens, it’s crucial you turn to professionals and in sessions at occupational therapy in Liverpool, you can work through those issues, “iron out the wrinkles” and find ways to improve your existing self-image. Occupational therapists can help with daily activities such as taking care of yourself to learning the skills you need to solve problems, communicate better and even deal with speech issues.
Don’t dwell in the past
Dwelling in the past and bringing the baggage of old, failed relationships into your present one will only make you repeat the same broken patterns of behaviour and recreate the same flawed structures. Even if you had dishonest or abusive partners in the past, resist the urge to make comparisons and pass judgements. Make a conscious effort to reflect upon all the hurtful things from your past relationship and see in what ways your present one is different. This will help you release your insecurities and focus yourself on what is positive in your present.
Learn to be an optimist
It’s important to keep in mind that no situation is permanent, be it good or bad. The same goes for relationships – even if things are great in your relationship right now, things may change. The quality of your relationship will grow proportionally with your acceptance of imperfections and readiness to work on the occasional issues that arise.
Stressing over a few bumps on the road may lead to increased stress and insecurity on your part which may cause your partner to start questioning your intentions. Being too rigid about the health of your relationship will bring trouble. Learn to accept the fact that there will always be some difficulties but stay focused on the good and look for the signs that confirm that.
Appreciate the good people around you, not just your partner. Make an effort to see their good traits, cheer for their success and encourage their goals in life. This will help you to focus on what is good in your life and the great qualities that you possess which will automatically make you feel better and seem more attractive. Nothing says happy and beautiful than a smile on your face!