The Beauty Ideal: Standards In The Gay Community
Gay Men’s Attractiveness.
It is evident that many gay men feel a constant pressure to look a certain way. Some of these idealizations include but are not limited to having six-pack abs, a V-cut body shape, toned arms and legs, and having little to no body fat in the midsection. Although these desired bodily features are not impossible to attain, they become unrealistic in the sense that gay men expect themselves and others (friends and dating partners) to meet these standards. But why is it that gay men feel that they need to meet these specific standards?
I really like those moments when you realize the world is unfair. It’s almost humbling, and at the same time, refreshing. Nobody in this life will ever finish their journey unaffected by human judgment. We all experience it, but it requires a strong man to see the forest through the trees and shrubs.
Gay culture increases the club for beauty on a daily basis. We view it in the gayborhoods, we feel the strain among our friends and we view it though the mass media (which let’s face it, is affected by a great deal of gay men). We crave beauty because of its life push like hungry vampires. The hunt is ongoing and doesn’t seem to have an end.
It’s a visual urge for food. We wish beauty around us because, as a result, we feel beauty within ourselves. For reasons uknown we’ve made it contagious, and the pressure has expanded to both sides. Those with great body feel even more pressure to maintain it, those with average physiques feel pressure to cover it, and those who don’t give a damn are pressured to hide the actual fact that they don’t provide a damn. Thankfully, I fall in the second option.
There’s a funny thing that occurs when humans are constantly searching for something that isn’t there: they never become satisfied. The pinup image of the male body, sure, is fantastic to look at, but we take it to some other level. We don’t just want to look at them, you want to be them. We long to have whatever it is they have because we wish the accolades they supposedly receive. God-like worship, self-esteem, a much better chance at success.
It’s all a dream. A great body and great face never has described a person’s personality, significantly less their legacy. We’ve always known this, why the obsession? Perfection goes on permanently into infinity. It does not have any destination. Something always has to be “imperfect” when you’re trying to reach “perfect.” Making it consume your complete life is really as pointless as reaching for the superstars. So why don’t we make our journey in life about something that’s actually achievable?
Our seek out perfect beauty subconsciously creates multiple blind sides, stopping us from seeing the things we’re passing by: people, love, opportunities, enjoyment, experiences, laughter, freedom.
We’ve chained ourselves into a program of non-stop obsession of what we’re eating, how many hours at the gym we’re putting in, how much cash we devote to product, just how many compliments we get, how many selfies we can post on Facebook. Our self-esteem has nothing in connection with our “self,” but everything regarding the world. We’re too focused on pleasing others we’ve forget about us. If we can have the ability to refocus that same attention on ourselves, consider the potential.
Life’s rule has never been to shoot for beauty. In fact the term “beautiful,” until recently, was never defined as exterior or visible. We made that definition up. Until about two hundred years ago, the term “beauty” was defined as an internal feeling of the caring soul. That’s what real beauty is. Let’s find it again.