Mutual support for gay men
Most of us don’t seek to lead guys on. Generally it’s because we’ve fallen into a hole too deep to crawl out of. But like the rest in life it all goes back to physics. Whenever we keep a man’s center suspended in mid-air for too long, ultimately it’ll break off in a painful way – leaving us traumatized. Is there ever the right way to release?
It seems like gay guys have different rules as it pertains to this subject and, if you ask me, it’s rooted with sex. Sex gets the capacity to make us blind towards not only our motives, but other people’s emotions. Since we’re both men, it’s easy to suppose an unwritten agreement at the beginning: “It’s about the sex… until further notice.” However, not all homosexual men are quick to separate the two.
Here’s the reality. Most lead-ons are unintentional. We’re either too nice to be mean, addicted to the attention, oblivious to the other’s emotions, are confused in what they want or, most obviously, are just looking for sex. Because we’re too scared of harming someone’s feelings, we’d rather continue the false hope so long as it fuels our self-esteem.
It’s easy to business lead someone on nowadays, especially since we’re all desperately searching for validation. We won’t let someone proceed with their lives, yet we also don’t want these to get too near to us for whatever reason. The complete connection becomes hazy without clear sign of continue, making the relationship “complicated.”
Even though we realize it’ll never last, most of us continue steadily to lead men on exclusively for the sake of experiencing a guy on call. I can’t tell you how many of my gay friends are dating multiple men at once – all unacquainted with the other. Though there are times when I envy them, there’s also times when I wonder if they’re just one of the bunch. Quite simply, if they’re leading someone on, what makes them think one of their men isn’t doing the same thing?
Have gay guys become dependent on the spark, rather than the connection? With so many homosexual guys running around the dating community, we’ve notice each other’s search. First-time meetings are what the majority of us live for. The butterflies in our belly, the pleasure of get together someone new and the sexual fantasies become the only goal. Anything else after that is scary territory, therefore the likely move to make is to keep them on call until we meet another person “new.”
Since when has internet dating become about recycling? Don’t misunderstand me, I’m about spreading your ft in the pool and get together as many guys as possible while you’re one, but it seems like we’re focusing too much on making a good impression rather than creating a real connection. All it requires is one man to believe there was something more. The following point you understand you have him on the leash. But who’s problem could it be, really?
It’s time to stop blaming others for the text messages we’ve provided. We should begin looking at our activities, instead of supposing other things. When someone becomes mounted on us, most likely it’s because we’ve given the impression that we’re just as interested because they are. That’s physics.
Leading people on is simple, but it’s also easily prevented. No good will come by keeping a guy on a leash to improve your self-esteem. It can be hugely dangerous for your well-being. Not to mention, it has the potential to become a habit that’s hard to break. This may lead to a very lonely street. Be real with yourself. Honesty is always the best policy.